...a LOT!
Yes, I know; I know: I'm not supposed to let that number define me, grade me, judge me. I know that.
So why do I find myself wanting to scream and throw a fit when that number prints out?!?!
Today was Bean's appointment. I was hoping, no make that expecting, a significant drop in her A1c. She's been podding Apidra for three months and we are seeing much better numbers. Way more time 'in range' and way fewer 300s and high 200s. Sure, she's had lows more often that usual, but nothing terrible and a little basal tweaking is in order and should 'fix' those lows...as much as they can be, anyway!
So when we were chatting with our ANP at her new office...we were the only ones there and we're more like family than "doctor/patient" and Ubergeek went over to the machine and said "8.7" my response was "What the Heck?!? That can't be right."
Last appointment she was at 9.1, which was up from 8.8. I was bummed, but I knew that a lot of that was summer issues and trying to figure out her insulin needs with the mega shift in routine.
I was hoping for low 8s. But I also knew in the back of my mind that it might not be quite that low because the last week or so hasn't been fabulous and I've heard that even though it's supposed to measure the last 90 days, the two weeks prior plays a more significant role. (Don't quote me on that, just what I remember hearing somewhere!)
But the hope was there none-the-less.
I got the usual "you are doing an amazing job; these numbers are looking great" comments which I tried really hard to accept and not just roll my eyes at because I totally don't feel like I'm doing anything amazing right now.
But, Bean is happy, healthy, growing, and her BGs are looking better. I really should focus on that and not the stupid 8.7...so hard to do, though!
Lowest A1c to date, so that's something. Not where I want her, but honestly, what are the chances of me getting what I want with this stupid disease?
Now it's time to start working on the next 90 days! Ugh.
As a parent of a Child with Type 1 Diabetes, I must "Learn from Yesterday, Live for Today, HOPE for Tomorrow." ~ Albert Einstein
any drop is a good drop.
ReplyDeleteI've also heard that the two weeks leading up to it can have a significant effect.
Don't be hard on yourself. You're obviously trying your best. For what it's worth our son's A1c is in the same ballpark, last time was over 9! Hoping to get it back in the 8s next time but if not we know it's not from lack of trying.
ReplyDeleteHugs! A1c's are always changing and any drop is GREAT!! You are doing awesome!
ReplyDeleteI was right there with you this week my friend! Our appt was on Tuesday and Emma's was up a bit. It is SO INSANELY hard not to be disappointed or stressed or upset at that stupid number. I hear ya...major same same...sending you hugs and I want you to know you are an INCREDIBLE Mom! xoxo
ReplyDeleteI hate a1cs, they make the endo appt a stressful time. Don't look bk just forwards!!!
ReplyDeleteI feel like I'm back in school waiting to be upbraided by the principal when the doctor is giving me the A1c result, not to mention the guilt and worry. But the others are right, any drop is a good drop. (Chris, Temp Pancreas, blogger not letting me add my name...)
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