That has to be what it is.
Why the tears came when I was talking with Bean's FNP yesterday at our 3-month check up.
Why the tears came when I read a friend's FB status about being able to go on a date with her husband and have someone watch their kids and have the oldest ones stay for a sleep over.
You see, I'm struggling lately with the whole 'how Bean is treated because she has T1D' thing.
It's not like she's being singled out or bullied or anything like that. She's just seen a 'different' because, well, she is.
But the part that makes those tears become mixed with a bit of anger is that it is NOT HER FAULT she's different.
She's the only one who has to test her blood sugar when she 'gets in trouble' at school for being overly silly or is having trouble focusing. All the other kids just get a reminder or move their clip or whatever else happens to kids whose pancreases work.
She's the only one who has to help her teachers remember that sometimes she can't do certain things (like take a test or participate in PE) because of a number on a screen.
She's the only one in our group of friends who takes a significant amount of extra planning to go to play dates or a sleep over...which hasn't happened yet, just in case you're wondering. (To be fair, she has been asked, but it's never been an actual planned out invite, just the off-handed 'so and so said I could sleep over sometime' or 'we should figure out something for the girls to do' but it hasn't amounted to anything.)
Ubergeek and I can't just drop the girls off with anyone to go out. Yes, his parents are great with them and they get the whole D thing, but it doesn't always work out for them to watch the girls. And, yes, there is a babysitter who has T1 that we trust completely, but she's not free. ;) And when you are looking at the cost of a night out, plus babysitting, it just doesn't always fit into the budget.
It's frustrating. Frustrating to the point of tears at the moment.
Yes, I know, this will pass. The tears will stop. I'll have a better perspective on things and they won't bother me as much.
But today, well, today is not that day.