Sunday, December 2, 2012

Tears of, well, Jealousy


That has to be what it is.

Why the tears came when I was talking with Bean's FNP yesterday at our 3-month check up.

Why the tears came when I read a friend's FB status about being able to go on a date with her husband and have someone watch their kids and have the oldest ones stay for a sleep over.

You see, I'm struggling lately with the whole 'how Bean is treated because she has T1D' thing.

It's not like she's being singled out or bullied or anything like that.  She's just seen a 'different' because, well, she is.

But the part that makes those tears become mixed with a bit of anger is that it is NOT HER FAULT she's different.

She's the only one who has to test her blood sugar when she 'gets in trouble' at school for being overly silly or is having trouble focusing.  All the other kids just get a reminder or move their clip or whatever else happens to kids whose pancreases work.

She's the only one who has to help her teachers remember that sometimes she can't do certain things (like take a test or participate in PE) because of a number on a screen.

She's the only one in our group of friends who takes a significant amount of extra planning to go to play dates or a sleep over...which hasn't happened yet, just in case you're wondering. (To be fair, she has been asked, but it's never been an actual planned out invite, just the off-handed 'so and so said I could sleep over sometime' or 'we should figure out something for the girls to do' but it hasn't amounted to anything.)

Ubergeek and I can't just drop the girls off with anyone to go out.  Yes, his parents are great with them and they get the whole D thing, but it doesn't always work out for them to watch the girls.  And, yes, there is a babysitter who has T1 that we trust completely, but she's not free. ;)  And when you are looking at the cost of a night out, plus babysitting, it just doesn't always fit into the budget.

It's frustrating.  Frustrating to the point of tears at the moment.

Yes, I know, this will pass.  The tears will stop.  I'll have a better perspective on things and they won't bother me as much.

But today, well, today is not that day.


  1. I totally feel you... You'd think after 4 years I'd be used to it, but I'm not and it stinks. Why-oh-why must we all be so spread out? I bet Elise and your bean would get along wonderfully!

  2. It's just as hard for boys... Justin just can't go "hang" out without planning. It breaks my heart that they don't get to build those relationships as easily as non d kids. Sucks for sure.

  3. I feel your pain! I have those same tears quite frequently. Everything is just "more". Throw celiac into the mix & it gets even funner :-(

  4. I totally relate to what you are saying! Alex was new to her school and only 3 months in when she was diagnosed. Being the new kid AND having diabetes has been so hard especially at her age (10). Kids think she only wants attention when she says she is low or has to leave class for other reasons. We never get invitations to any parties or play dates from school friends. Most everyone is scared to watch her for more than an hour or so as soon as I ask them to learn to use glucagon even though I assure them it's likely they'll never need it. It sucks. The one thing that helps is we have really tried to link up with the local ADA office which has offered a number of events where she has been able to hang out with other T1 kids and counselors from the ADA camp she attended this past summer. But in between events, she gets very sad :-(

  5. It's so hard when they are young. Maybe you can train grandma and grandpa so they are more comfortable helping out (our diabetes camp used to have a caretakers weekend where they trained grandparents and other family members who are interested). I think the fear of doing something wrong prevents the grandparents from helping when they really want to. Hang in there. It does get a lot easier when your child gets older. I am hoping a family member will learn and help out until then.


Hey, Thanks for sharing!! Your comments make me :)!!
Had to turn on comment moderation due to silly spammers....