Wednesday, February 29, 2012

NaBloPoMo #29 ~ The Best Part

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt:  What's the best part
about being in your family?

My family...the one where I play the role of daughter...was/is a great family to be a part of.  (ugh, I don't like ending a sentence with 'of' but saying 'a great family of which to be a part' just sounds pretentious!)

It's a loving family that expresses that love freely.  That supports each other in any way needed.

No matter how many miles are between us, no matter how much time is in between visits, we are forever connected and nothing can break that connection.

My family...the one where I play the role of a great family to be a part of.  (ugh, again!)

It's a loving family that expresses that love freely.  

We have fun together, cuddle together, get things done together.  

Sure, there are times when the girls drive me crazy.  When Ubergeek drives me crazy.  When I get overwhelmed with all of the stuff that comes along with being 'mommy.'  But I wouldn't trade this family for anything in the world.

I got to thinking after my post about the miscarriages, how different our family might have been if that first pregnancy went full term.  Bean wouldn't exist because she was conceived while I would have been still pregnant.  While I still wonder about that child, I can't imagine my world without Bean.  With all of the 'stuff' she's been through, we've been through with her, my world would be empty without her.
And then there's Bug.  Would the timing have been the same for her to have entered the world?  Early on in my pregnancy with her, we thought I was miscarrying.  What if she never came to be?  Holy cow, what a boring world this would be without her!  She is silly and funny and downright ridiculous.

Nope, wouldn't trade my family for anything in the world...either of them! 

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

NaBloPoMo #28 ~ Teachable Moment

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt:  What was something you
taught another person in your family?

I immediately thought of an answer to this one.

Nephew ~ tying shoes.

What's funny about this is that I have no recollection of teaching him how to tie his shoes.

I don't necessarily doubt his stubborn insistence that he knows that I, indeed, taught him how to tie his shoes.  I mean, I was quite involved in his life for the first several years.  I was mistaken for his mother on more than a hundred occasions when he, my sister, and I would go to the mall.  Something my sister didn't appreciate in the least.

I would be hard pressed, if say, I was on the witness stand, to be able to say I taught him how to tie his shoes if I were under oath.

It's become this funny family thing and it makes me smile. :)

Monday, February 27, 2012

NaBloPoMo #27 ~ Lessons Learned

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt:  What is something you have
learned from someone else?

Wow, such a loaded question.  And so many different directions I could take in answering.

I think I'm going to focus on my D-family for this one.  The ones that live in my computer and offer their take on this crazy life we are all living.  I'm not even going to try to spread linky love with this list because I'm sure I'd miss some great things and great people, and I don't want anyone to feel left out.

These 'lessons' will be in random 'how they pop into my brain' order.

*Glucagon can be used for more than the 'serious, unresponsive' situation that was presented to us in the hospital.

*Stripper shoes are best when they come in blue.

*Sending your D-kid to camp is a crazy, but well worth it decision.

*Time spent waiting for a low to come up can seem like an eternity.

*D-kids can do some seriously A.M.A.Z.I.N.G things.

*Adults with D have wonderful insights for us D'rents and their experiences are hope for the future our kids are facing.

*Walking to support a cure unites us all...and produces some totally cool T-shirts.

*There are days that D plays nicely in the corner and days that D kicks you when you are down...and there is 
ALWAYS someone there to celebrate or help pick you up.

*CGM graphs aren't always pretty.

*Random beeps drive us crazy.

*Sugar is kept in some pretty odd socks.

*Test strips have no boundaries or sense of personal space and will invade any and every place imaginable.

*It doesn't matter how you get your insulin, via shot, pump, or pod, everyone has what works for them.

*Play dates require A LOT of preplanning.

*School nurses can be angels in disguise.  And the lack of one can seem like hell on earth.

*A1cs, no matter how much we don't want them to, sit in judgment of our pancreatic skills and can make us cry and bang our heads against the wall.

*We can function, albeit not fabulously, on very little to no sleep for days because of stupid BGs.

* has to be done.

*Honey badger don't care. 

I treasure each and every one of my DOC family members.  I love your kids like my own. 
There is a special connection that ties us together that no one, except those who live it, can ever truly understand.
We 'get' each other, and for that I am extremely grateful.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

NaBloPoMo #26 ~ Always There

NaBloPoMo February 2012 write...

It hit me this evening.

It's nothing that I don't already know; that I don't already see.

But, none-the-less, it hit me this evening.

Bean was in the bath tub.  I was helping her wash her hair.  And for whatever reason, her pod, dexcom sensor, and medical alert bracelet seemed larger than life.  It was like they were screaming 'look at me.'

Diabetes is always there; always a part of her.

During bath time, when (even though they are water proof) we have to be aware to not over soak adhesive so her pod and dexcom sensor don't prematurely let loose.

During dance performances, when we try to position her pod so it's not totally obvious in her cute costumes.

During Drama Club performances, when her pod alarms during a scene and I have to leave the audience and run around back stage to find her PDM to deactivate it so the wonderful beeeeeep that she's trying to muffle will shut up.

During school, when I get a call over the radio to ask about the carb count for a random birthday cupcake; or when I get a call because she's low before recess; or when I have to help her do a pod change because she's alarmed just sitting in class doing her work.

During meals, when she has to decide before one bite goes into her mouth everything she's going to want to eat, including dessert, so we can calculate the correct carbs so her PDM can deliver the correct amount of insulin.

During sleep, when she pulls her finger away because she knows I'm going to poke it; or when she has to down a juice box that she won't remember drinking in the morning; or when she wets the bed because of a high that won't budge.

During playtime, when she has to stop and test her blood sugar because she feels low; or I have her stop and test because she's being overly obnoxious to her sister and I'm pretty dang sure it's because she's high.

During overnight events, when I have to go or she doesn't get to and we have to pack TONS of stuff for 'just in case' events that might happen that no one else has to worry about.

During every second of every day of her life.

She never gets a break.  

Never gets to take a minute, much less a day, off.  

Never gets to eat without testing and dosing. 

Never gets to leave the house without her kit.


Not until there is a cure will Bean ever have a moment without Diabetes being a part of her.

I know this; have known this for almost 21 months now.

It's nothing new.  

It just hit me again this evening and it sucks.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

NaBloPoMo #25 ~ ...the rest of the post

NaBloPoMo February 2012 write...
aka ~ do yesterday's post
Who do you wish you were related to?

**I realized at 11 last night that I still hadn't gotten around to posting.  That's why I squeaked in the little teaser.  Didn't want to miss a day of posting this close to the end of the month.
Oh, and yes, Renya, I'm still (well, back to) working. ;)**

Julia Roberts.  I would love to be related to her.

Mystic Pizza. Pretty Woman. Flat Liners. Steele Magnolias. Dying Young. The Pelican Brief. Sleeping with the Enemy. Notting Hill.  Something to Talk About. Step Mom.Runaway Bride. Erin Brokovich.  Ant Bully. Charlotte's Web.  Eat Pray Love.  (just to name a few)

Come on.  Who wouldn't want to say, "Oh, yeah, that's my (enter family relation here) in that film."

She's always so down to earth in her interviews.  And that laugh is infectious.

Let's face it...she's gorgeous in a natural sort of way; she's tall, thin, and brunette...if only I could get that middle one, I'd have the total package! ;)

Friday, February 24, 2012

NaBloPoMo #24 ~ Relative Wish

Julia Roberts

I'll explain tomorrow...just too flippin tired.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

NaBloPoMo #23 ~ Big Then, Small Now

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt:  Talk about a problem that seemed
big at the time, but now that it has resolved
seems much smaller.

So, Ubergeek and I have been trying to come up with something for this prompt for a while. 

We've tossed around several ideas, from Bean's cleft lip (never really a 'big' deal for us, honestly) to a misunderstanding with my daddy on a family vacation that made the whole week uncomfortable for everyone (we had some harsh words, I apologized, but he didn't remember me apologizing because of his brain cancer) to the whole D thing (still a big thing that we try to keep as small as possible).

Nothing seems to fit the 'big then, small now' scenario in my mind.  

I keep going back to his first suggestion...miscarriages.  
Two, to be exact.  Both before Bean was conceived. 
They were both early on (about 7-8 weeks and 4-5 weeks).  
They were both different (no heartbeat/DNC, fertilized egg didn't implant/'late period' after a positive pregnancy test).  
But they both shattered our world.  
They both made me question whether I'd ever be able to have children.  
They both made us think long and hard about trying for a second child.

Time has healed a lot of the hurt.  
Time has lessened the pain of loosing those babies.  
Time has decreased the times I think about them.  
Time has made something devastatingly huge into something small enough to be tucked away in a part of my heart that I keep hidden and protected.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

NaBloPoMo #22 ~ Living with Family

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt:  If you had to live with one member
of your extended family for a year, who would it be?

Yikes!  I can't imagine living with any of my extended family for a month, much less a year.

We did a week long family vacation thing with some of Ubergeek's family, and even with our own private place to stay away from everyone, it was six days too long!

OK, so maybe I'm being  a bit unfair, but it was a really long week!

Back to the post....who to live with, who to live with...

The prompt didn't say it had to be realistic.  Just a member of my extended family.

So, I'm going to go with my great-grandmother, on my mother's side.  Mamaw Whit, as she has always been called.

I never knew her, but everything I've ever heard about her makes me wish I had.  
From the dahlias she grew in her garden to the totally awesome plates on which she served lunch to her friends to the gold locket and bracelet that my mother has of hers that I used to love to wear...she just sounds like such a neat lady.  OK, other than the part where she would thump my mother on her head with a thimble when she misbehaved, but everyone has their faults, right?

oh, you don't remember the plates?  the ones with the cool thumb notch so you could carry your plate around without sticking your thumb into your food and the rim that would hold the matching punch cup in place, too.  well, here's the picture again!

So, there you have it....I would like to live with my great Mamaw Whit for a year.  Soak up her proper lady-ness, mixed with the spunk that I know just has to be there...I mean, I knew her daughter and know her granddaughter and they both had/have spunk, even if it's kept hidden most of the time. ;)

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

NaBloPoMo #21 ~ True, with all my heart

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt:  Tell us something that you 
believe with all your heart is true.

I considered going 'religious' with this, because my faith is something I believe with all my heart is true.  But, since the theme is "relative," I wanted to focus on a family thing.

I believe, with all my heart, that Ubergeek loves me and our girls.
  He loves me when I'm crazy.  He loves me when I'm stressing about BGs.  He loves me when I'm all gussied up to go out for a night on the town.  He loves me when I haven't had the time to shower in days.  He loves me, no matter what.
  He loves our girls when they cuddle up with him.  He loves our girls when they are sweetly playing with each other.  He loves our girls when they are at each others' throats.  He loves our girls through thick and thin and would move mountains for them.

I believe, with all my heart, that Ubergeek does what he does with our best interest in mind.
  Sure, he works long hours, both at his normal job and with his clients, but that afforded me the ability to stay home with the girls for the past seven years.  Sure, he attends several meetings each month, but he is doing his part to make Bean's school successful and the best it can be. 

I believe, with all my heart, that Ubergeek is my best friend.  He comforts me.  He makes me laugh.  He balances me out.  He encourages me to step out of my comfort zone.  He doesn't judge me.

Monday, February 20, 2012

NaBloPoMo #20 ~ Happy and Unhappy

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt: Respond: 
"All happy families resemble one another,
each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

Every family has their own stuff.

It could be stuff that makes them happy, or stuff that makes them unhappy.

It could be stuff that makes them stronger, more resilient.

It could be stuff that tears them down and makes them want to give up.

It could be stuff that they can overcome one day, but overwhelms them the next.

I think D is 'stuff' that is two faced like that.  

Some days we are on the mountain top, feeling like we've gotten it right, confident in our pancreating abilities, seeing dang good BGs.

Some days we are drowning, hitting the rock bottom of the ocean, dealing with lows that won't come up or highs that won't come down, looking at trends that make absolutely no sense.

Due to the split personality that is D, I think normally 'happy' families can be mistaken for 'unhappy' when D is acting up and is taking more effort.  It's not that they are truly 'unhappy,' just bogged down with the stresses of the current situation.

Sure, I realize that some families that deal with D can be and are truly 'unhappy,' and that's unfortunate.  But, most of the families I know (both IRL and in my computer) are 'happy' and aren't letting D get them down and keep them there.  

We D families are all a part of a larger family that supports each other through 'happy' and 'unhappy' times.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

NaBloPoMo #19 ~

NaBloPoMo February 2012
...more free writing...

It's been a really busy weekend around here.  

Friday night, we went out with friends, leaving the girls at someone else's house (a house we'd been to several times for get-togethers) with a babysitter we didn't know (she is a nurse's aide and was watching our friend's kids).
The 'out' part was a first for me.  It was a pub crawl...something I had never done before.  I'm not a 'bar person.'  Haven't ever darkened the door of more than the one bar I went to on my 21st birthday with college friends.  Which in and of itself is humorous because I went to college in a dry county, so there was only beer (HATE) and wine coolers (tolerable) served there.
Anyway...there was a 'one drink minimum' per bar and thankfully water counted because I don't drink much of anything.  The night progressed and we were at a bar/dance place and it was so much stinkin' fun dancing with friends!  It's been years since I've high school prom...and I forgot how much I enjoyed it.  Sure, it was a bit strange being around all those gussied up twenty somethings and I got the feeling that some of them were wondering who let all the old folks out of the nursing home, but honestly I didn't care.  It's been a long, long time since I had 'fun' and felt like it didn't matter what was going on in my life and the stresses of the week faded into the pulsing bass.
The 'leaving the girls' part was less than ideal.  I was a bit concerned when the babysitter showed up with her year old son.  Sure, he was cuter than cute, but I know how it is with a little one in a different house...full attention must be paid at all times, not leaving a whole lot for the kiddo with D.  She seemed to understand all of my general information and directions before we left, but I still wasn't 100% confident.
I have no idea how it happened, but Bean's pod got alarm, just said 'no active pod' when I was giving her instructions over the phone for a temp basal when Bean went from 90 to 80 after a snack.  I told her not to worry about changing the pod...wasn't comfortable with her doing it...and since Bean tends to crash in the night after an evening of fun with friends, I was OK with her not having any insulin.  She was in the low 200s when I checked her in the wee hours when we got 'home' and I went ahead and slapped a new pod on her to keep her from going any higher.

Saturday night, we had another 'evening out with friends.'  It was WAY tamer.  We went to the Fasching/Marti Gras event put on by the local German Club.  (Trying to build connections between them and the school Bean goes to.)  A friend made us amazing masks and we went as earth, fire, and water.  We had a nice evening listening to polka music surrounded by adorable senior citizens.
The girls hung out with the grandparents and had a great time.  Bean called me once to double check the bolus amount for the chocolate covered marshmallows on a stick she had earned for being a trooper during her blood draw on Friday.

Today has been a 'do nothing' day.  Well, not nothing because I've folded laundry, have another two in the process, and have unloaded and loaded the dishwasher.  BUT, we did get to sleep in and have just lounged around all day and that has been really nice.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

NaBloPoMo #18 ~ Eight Point Four

NaBloPoMo February 2012 write...

Earlier this week, Bean had her three month check up with her FNP...aka the 'let's see how good of a job I'm doing as her pancreas' appointment.

Having reviewed the BG trends on her PDM (controller for her omnipod insulin pump) and plugging them into two different 'figure out your own A1c' formulas I found online, I was hoping for a nice number on that little piece of paper.  (in case you want to try your hand at it... A1c ~ average BG + 100, then divide by 36 OR Hba1c ~ average BG + 86, then divide by 33.3)

Given the possible numbers I figured out (7.8 and 8) and the possible A1c from Wilma (Bean's dexcom) (high 8s, can't remember at the moment exactly), I wasn't terribly disappointed, not thrilled, but not utterly surprised with her 'actual A1c.  


A decent number since her goal is to be below 8.5.  Sure, something that starts with a '7' would be fab, but I'll gladly take a 0.4 decrease from her November A1c.

It's been a crazy three months, what with the holidays, stomach bugs, and growth spurts (up 1/2 inch in the past three months).

I tried really, really hard to accept the FNP's praise and kudos for the all the hard work that goes into being a stand in pancreas.  I'm not beating myself up so much least not this week!

All in all, a good report and if I can get these basal rates to cooperate a bit better, maybe we'll see another nice number come May!

Friday, February 17, 2012

NaBloPoMo #17 ~ Sons and Daughters

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt: What do you think about the saying:
"A son is a son until he takes him a wife,
a daughter is a daughter is all of her life."

Being a daughter, I totally agree with the part about being a 'daughter all of her life.'

Sure, I have others roles ~ friend, aunt, wife, mother ~ but sometimes 'daughter' trumps all of them.

I'm not too sure about the 'son until he takes him a wife' part, though.  I haven't found that to be true with Ubergeek.  He is still very much a son to his parents and I think that's a good thing.

totally cutting this short because we are going out with friends tonight and the girls are hanging out with friends who are being watched by a nurse's aide...good hands for our T1D girl!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

NaBloPoMo #16 ~ Family like Friends

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt:  Respond to the proverb:
'Treat your family like friends and your friends like family.'

Well, since I've been pretty much ignoring both my friends and my family of late, I suppose this proverb is full of sage advice for me. ;)

Yeah, I know that's not the intent...whatever.

I can see the upside of treating your family like friends, because we don't tend to 'take things out' on our friends like we do our family.

And I can see the upside of treating your friends like family, because most of us would go to the ends of the earth and back without questioning it for our family.

That's all I got for's Thursday and I'm beat! ;)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

NaBloPoMo #15 ~ Family Happinesses

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt:  Dr. Joyce Brothers said, "When you look at your life,
the greatest happinesses are family happinesses."  True or False?

Totally going with 'true' on this one!

I have hundreds of happinesses that are family happinesses.

Memories of things from my childhood, like driving the riding lawn mower all over my grandparents' yard; seeing my mother and daddy in the audience for performances, whether at church or school; hanging out under a sleeping bag, watching TV in our den with my daddy; watching my mother bake and decorate wedding cakes and having her 'practice' on my finger so I could eat the frosting.

Memories of things from my early adulthood, like my parents helping me move into my various dorm rooms; being there when both of my nephews were born; taking my oldest nephew to the mall to ride the carousel; my sister's wedding (OK, so that's a bit out of order with the whole 'nephews being born' thing, but whatever, we're totally going with what pops into my head!); Christmases at my parents' house.

Memories of things from when Bean was little, like the silly little scrunchy face she would make; her falling asleep holding the crackers she insisted she needed as a snack in the car after running around the mall in her first pair of 'real' shoes after she started walking; the way she would ask to 'sit next side' me on the couch.

Memories of things from when Bug was little (OK, so she's only 3 1/2, but whatever!), like the way she would light up when Bean would come home from preschool; the way she just couldn't, and still can't, hold still when she hears music; the way she never really 'crawled' in the conventional way, but had this crazy 'knee walk' that enabled her to keep a hold of whatever she had in her hands.

Memories of current events, like the way our family loves to cuddle together on the couch and watch a movie on the weekend; going out for breakfast; times when the girls actually play together instead of finding ways to annoy each other.

So, yeah, I totally agree that family happinesses are my greatest happinesses.  Now I just need to focus on make more 'happinesses' and maybe some of the 'not so happinesses' will become fewer and farther between!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

NaBloPoMo #14 ~ Love

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt:  Tell us about someone you love.

WooHoo....won't be struggling for something to write today! ;)

So, let me tell you a bit about Ubergeek:

As you can see by this morning's 'hack' post, he likes to do little nice things for me.  He'll come home with flowers from time to time.  He'll offer to pick up dinner when he knows I've had a really bad day.  Now if I can just get him to stop leaving his dirty clothes all over the house! ;)

We met through a mutual friend, over the phone, in August of 1994.  He was in South Dakota at the time, but would soon move to Alaska, and I was in Georgia.  We talked on the phone for a couple of months (sometimes for several hours) and then didn't talk for a week in early October when he went to visit family.  That week was torture!  By the time we talked at the end of that week, we both knew there was 'something' there, said "I love you" for the first time, and started our long distance relationship. 

It was another six months before we met face to face.  We had toyed with the idea of meeting in New York, a la An Affair to Remember ~ this was during the time Sleepless in Seattle was popular ~ but I knew that there was no way I could pull that off.  So, it was decided that he should come to Georgia.  In April, he arrived.  It was beyond surreal to talk to him face to face after having spent over six months and hundreds of hours talking on the phone.  And our first kiss, well, there's no way you will ever be able to convince me that fireworks didn't go off!

He met my family on that trip and even extended for a few days so he could attend Easter services with us.  It was difficult saying good-bye, not knowing for sure when we'd see each other again.  But soon plans were in the works for me to go to Alaska for the summer.  It was then that I fell in love with this place and knew that I would be OK with moving, if and when our relationship came to that point.

Over the next four years, I lived and went to college in Georgia and he lived and worked in Alaska.  Our visits were anywhere from 3 to 9 months apart and our phone time was crazy.  Thank God we were young and could go with very little sleep because with the time difference I was usually on the phone with him in the middle of the night.

We were married on October 10, 1998, which was the four year anniversary of our first "I love you" phone call. 

Life hasn't been all roses and sunshine, but we make it work.  I would be lost without him.  He keeps me together when I've lost it...even if he's part of the reason why I've lost it!  As much as he drives me crazy, he keeps me sane.

I love you, Ubergeek!  Thanks for being my Valentine everyday for the past 17+ years.

Oh, here's what showed up at school for me today....he's lucky he has a friend in the floral business because in true Ubergeek fashion, he called in his order yesterday!  See why he drives me crazy?!?

Ubergeek hacks Blog to say "Happy Valentines Day Sweetheart"

I hacked your Blog to tell you Happy Valentines Day and I Love you so very Much!!!!!!!
You are the Love of my life and my best friend!!!! You amaze me everyday!!!!
I Love You Sweetheart!!!!

Monday, February 13, 2012

NaBloPoMo #13 ~ Blood and Water

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt:  What do you think of the saying,
"blood is thicker than water?"

I'm sitting here, pretty confident that I agree with this statement, but when I go to type that I agree with it, examples of why I don't agree with it come to mind.

I do think that 'family' automatically has this unspoken connection; an underlying bond that just goes without saying.

I also think it's easier to break bonds with friends than with family, although this is one of the examples that has me conflicted.

However, I think it's totally possible to have a tighter relationship with someone who isn't related to you than with a family member.  It's doesn't take 'blood' to cause you to stick with them through thick and thin, no matter what the cost or consequence.

sorry for the suckage today...wiped out from dealing with BGs most of the night, being back in the classroom today, and having to stop mid-sentence to go clean up a vomiting Bug.  soooo thought we were past this!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

NaBloPoMo #12 ~

NaBloPoMo February 2012 writing...

I got nuthin'.

Sure, there are several things running through my head that I could squeeze out a post about, but none of them seem 'worthy' enough to sit here and type about.

There's the fact that I'm going to be back in the classroom I was in from August until two weeks ago, subbing for the week and possibly longer.  And the fact that I'm really conflicted about the situation and had several different stress dreams about it last night.

There's the fact that Bean has been 'off' for the past two days, having lower than usual BGs and having trouble getting up and staying up.  Nothing terrible, mainly 70s, but still.  Yesterday could have been attributed to activity and I pretty much wrote it off to that, but today has been extremely inactive, and still weird lowish BGs.  Guess that 'weekend' basal rate is off.

There's the fact that it's two days before Valentines Day and my Christmas decorations are still up.  I really, really, really want to put them away, but Ubergeek keeps thwarting my efforts and is trying to make a run at having the tree up all flippin' year.  UGH.  

There's the fact that the girls don't seem to listen when I talk, they only seem to listen when I yell, and I'm getting really tired of it.  I want to be able to communicate in a normal tone of voice, at a normal volume and get results.  Not an unrealistic expectation, I would think.

Darn that mocking, blinking curser.  Waiting for me to type something profound, something inspiring, something, anything!

But, I got nuthin'.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

NaBloPoMo #11 ~ 24

NaBloPoMo February 2012
It's the weekend!  Time for a 'free write.'

OK, first off, no, I am NOT referring to a BG of 24!  
Let's get that out of the way so you can all stop holding your breath or hyperventilating!! ;) 

I'm talking about the TV series 24.  Jack Bauer, 24.  No way in hell this could actually happen in the course of one day, 24.

This is a series I didn't 'get into' when it came out in 2001.  But when Bean and I extended our visit for 9 weeks after my dad was diagnosed with brain cancer in November 2006, I started watching it with him when the new season started and I was HOOKED!  I watched the remaining seasons faithfully and was totally bummed when it went off the air in May 2010.

So, since I have been cooped up with sick girls since Monday night...literally haven't left my house since Monday...I've needed something to counteract the on slaught of Disney, Dreamworks, and Lionsgate movies that have been played pretty much nonstop on the TV.  I turned to my Kindle fire and began the saga of Jack Bauer with season one.

Jack's kept me company between vomit clean ups and laundry cycles and staying up until 5:30 to monitor BGs and vomiting.

He's saved me from watching movies I would rather gouge my eyes out than watch for the millionth time.  OK, maybe that's a bit harsh, but let's remember I haven't left my house in 5 days!!!

I remember when my mother told me that she and my dad had borrowed the early 24 seasons from a friend who had them on DVD because they didn't get sucked in until after the first few seasons.  They would sit and watch them, trying to guess what the clock would show when the break for commercials was over.  (In case you are unfamiliar, 24 runs by the clock and it shows the clock before and after the commercial break, with the premise that each episode represents 1 hour in the 24 hour period for that season.)  Anyway, I guess my dad got pretty good at guessing what the time would be.  So, I have found myself doing the same thing and darn it if I'm not getting within a few seconds most of the time!  (It's the little things that amuse me!)

So, not only am I enjoying 'escaping' into the ridiculousness that is 24, I am 'connecting' with my daddy on some weird level...entertaining myself with the same guessing game he would play.  Sometimes it 's the little things that you hold onto when you can't hold on to the loved one any more.

Friday, February 10, 2012

NaBloPoMo #10 ~ Living Close to Family

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt:  "Do you live close to your family?"

Close...that word has A LOT of definitions and can be used as a noun, verb, or adjective.

In this instance, it's used as an adjective.  Definition 10, according to Merriam Webster, in fact.

"10:  being near in time, space, effect, or degree."

I'm gonna say that 4,305 miles (by car, according to google maps) isn't close in time, space, effect, or degree.

Part of me is OK with the fact that I don't live close to my family:  my mother, sister and her family.
When  I moved to Alaska, it was at a time in my life that I needed to make that change; distance myself from everything that I had known and everyone who knew me.  I had live in Georgia for all but the first 13 months of my life and although I didn't live in a 'small town,' things and people were way too familiar and I felt pigeon holed to an extent.
I needed that breathing room.  That space to figure out for myself who I was outside the realm that I had existed in for pretty much all my life.
I love Alaska...except for the days when it's 20 below and there's only a few hours of daylight, but those aren't the norm, thankfully.  I love the beauty that I see on a daily basis...the mountains, the wildlife.  I like the slow pace, even in the 'city'...practically no traffic and you can get anywhere in town within 20 minutes, 30 tops, if you happen to be in the traffic.

Part of me REALLY HATES the fact that I don't live close to my family.
Days like today, when the girls are still sick (though thankfully NOT puking anymore) and I've been hit with the stress of dealing with sick kids since Monday night, having very little sleep, manifesting in a killer headache and stomach cramps...luckily I haven't been puking...when Ubergeek has to go to work because there are several things that have to get done, by him, today, and he had already stay home yesterday to help out since I didn't even think about trying to go to sleep until 5:30 in the morning because Bean was puking every hour.
Yeah, on days like today, it would be really nice to be able to call my mother (who happens to have Fridays off!!) and curl up in my bed and forget the rest of the house and world exists!
It would be nice for my girls to be able to spend more than a couple of weeks a year with their mamaw and aunt, uncle, and cousins.  They both love when my family comes to visit or when we go there to visit them.  They have both always been instantly comfortable with my family...something I can't say for other parts of the extended family, sadly.

Sure, Ubergeek's parents live close and they are a big help.  They have been there to watch the girls when we needed a date night, had a meeting, or more recently when I was subbing everyday and couldn't pay for daycare everyday of the week.  They watched Bean when I was in the hospital 'early' when Bug was born.  They watched Bug when we had to spend the night in the hospital when Bean was dx'ed.  They are pretty much there whenever we need them, and that is a huge comfort and help.

 But, there's just something about having your family help that makes all the difference.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

NaBloPoMo #9 ~ Choosing Friends

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's Prompt:  Talk about this quote:
"Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends."

If you had presented me with this quote 16 months and 5 days ago, I would have had a completely different feeling about it.

June 5, 2010, changed my perspective.

You see, that was the day we found out that Bean has Type 1 Diabetes.  

That was the day that fate rocked our world and changed the path we thought we had started down.

Now, because of fate, because of D, we have an entirely new set of friends.  Friends we did not choose.

I'm not saying that some of these people wouldn't have been 'chosen' as friends.  

Sure, we may have crossed paths with some of these people in our town for other reasons and chose to develop a friendship with them.  But I have a hard time believing that.

I have an even harder time believing I would have ever come in contact with all of my friends who live in my computer.  No way would I have spent time reading blogs, developing relationships with parents of kids with type 1 diabetes.  Why would I have?

But, because of that fated day, because D entered our lives, I have friends that I might never have had the opportunity to chose.

And you know what?  I am forever grateful for this circle of fated friends.

You live this life.  You get what a tough road this is.  You test, dose, lose sleep, count carbs, weigh food, do pod/site changes, worry about seemingly 'silly' things that others take for granted.

I count you among my best friends and I may never get the chance to meet some of you.  I certainly hope that our paths cross at some point, but the reality is that they might not.  But that doesn't matter one bit.

I touch base with you daily.  I reach out for and offer support.  I check my phone, my Kindle, my computer multiple times a day to see what you are saying, thinking, going through, conquering.  I 'talk' with you more than I talk with my IRL friends.  

You are my friends, my D family.  I'm glad fate has brought us together.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

NaBloPoMo #8 ~ Wordless Wednesday, kinda

NaBloPoMo February 2012
Today's prompt:  Do you have a friend that is practically a brother or a sister?
Tell us about them.

Yeah, well, I don't.

Sure, I have some good friends, but I'm not doing so well in the 'let people get really close to me' area of late.  Well, not just of's been quite sometime since I've let anyone 'in.'

I'm trying to work on that.

SO, I'll revert to a "Wordless Wednesday" for today's post.

This is something we've haven't had happen in the 16 months Bean has been pumping with the Omnipod.
Yesterday, the cannula decided to pop out.  Sure, it was kinda helped along because of a costume change during Drama Club and the front part of the pod's adhesive pulling loose.

Thankfully a new pod...after figuring out what the issue was three hours after I tried to secure the pod with Tegaderm (totally should have just changed it then, but I claim mommy brain since I've been dealing with Bug being sick since Monday night). 

OK, I totally realize this was anything but a wordless post, but whatever....Bug's still sick! ;)

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

NaBloPoMo #7 ~ Extended Family Favorite

NaBloPoMo February 2012

Today's prompt:  Who is your favorite person in your extended family?

I've been tossing this around all night and all day....again, there's benefits to having a 'late' time zone. ;)

Plus, I had time to think during the night because Bug was throwing up most of the night.  She's feeling better, is keeping down dinner, and is acting like her normal silly self.

So, back to the tossing...

My extended family didn't even make it passed my first thoughts.  Just not 'favorite' material, I'm sad to say.

My thoughts then turned to Ubergeek's extended family-in-law.

There were a few people that came to mind, but were somewhat easily dismissed from the running.

Then 'the cousins' came to mind.  Ubergeek's mom's brother's girls.  Three of the wackiest females I know.  We'll call them E, S, and L.

When Ubergeek and I were newly married, we would house and cousin sit when his aunt and uncle would go out of town.  We suffered through their Hanson obsession, talked E through how to deal with a long distance relationship (we were foremost experts since we did long distance for four years), and saw each of them graduate high school and go on to college.

Now they are all adults and are still some of the wackiest females I know.  The three of them are super close, even though they are now geographically very far apart.  I love it when they all come in for a holiday because they keep each other and everyone else immensely entertained!

What I also LOVE about them is the way they play with our girls.  They've each (and sometimes two at  a time) baby sat on one occasion or another and the girls have soooo much fun when they are here.  They play with the girls just like they are little girls them selves.  I am in awe of their imaginations and ability to get lost in play.

S watched the girls about three months into Bean's diagnosis.  She was a trooper, listening to all of my instructions.  I remember her calling, hoping for some help because Bean's finger would not bleed for her to test for dinner.  They had gone through three strips already and she was beginning to panic.  Once a different finger was selected and effectively 'milked' all was well.  Then I get another call and the insulin pen Bean was using at the time wouldn't prime.  (Yeah, it was taking all I had to not rush home and chuck the whole idea of me ever getting to be away from Bean, ever.)  So, I talked S through that process and insulin went shooting across the room ;) and then into Bean's arm and all was well again.

This is the same cousin who masterfully helped up with the You Can Do This video....see right side of blog. ;)
Yeah, she's pretty awesome. ;)

E and L are just as awesome.  One of the first times we left Bean and Bug, when Bug was still quite little, we came home to E and Bug laying on the floor, hanging out there staring at the ceiling together because that was the only way Bug was happy that night.  And L puts up with Ubergeek's endless medical questions...she's a nurse, going for her FNP.

Yep, I love me some cousins-in-law. :)

Monday, February 6, 2012

NaBloPoMo #6 ~ Grandparents

NaBloPoMo February 2012

Today's writing prompt:  Tell us about your grandparents

I never knew my father's father, and from what little I heard about him, that wasn't a bad thing.

I don't remember my father's step-father.  I've seen a picture of me with him when I was quite little, but have no memory of him.

My father's mother was a kick in the pants.   She was this spry little woman; tough as nails.  She ran a crane in the Naval ship yards and her favorite word was 'jackass.'  One leg was shorter than the other, so she was always in this 'hip stuck out' position that looked like she was pissed at something or someone all of the time.  She would swear up and down that her hip was like that because she carried my daddy around too much when he was little.  She was also very superstitious.  I can remember her watching our house and dog sitting when we would go on a trip and she refused to watch us pull out of the driveway and drive up the street.  She said it was bad luck and that if she watched us we wouldn't come back.  (Just what a little girl needed to hear!)  On one of those trips, my fish died.  She didn't know what to do with it, so she put it in a ziplock bag and put it in the refrigerator.  I guess she didn't want to be the one to flush it.

My mother's father was a short little man who chewed RedMan tobacco and gave amazing hugs.  Everyone called him 'Nick' because there was already another guy at his factory with his name and just decided that would be his nickname even though it didn't remotely resemble his name at all.  He would drive my mother's mother nuts because he would have to get a drink of RC cola before they left to go anywhere.  It was always as everyone was headed out (or already out of) the door, he would be headed to the kitchen to grab a little drink.  She used to joke that he would make Jesus wait on him to get a drink before he would go to heaven.

My mother's mother was a prim and proper woman who wouldn't take crap from anyone.  Her hair was always perfectly curled thanks to a weekly hair appointment and she was always in skirts and heels.  She played piano at her church and would make faces of subtle disgust when the choir would sing off key or off tempo.  It was really hard not to laugh during service!  She and several of the ladies from her church would get together once a week an quilt, by hand, these amazing quilts.  Then the husbands would show up and they would all have lunch together.  I loved going to those quilting/lunch days.  I would sit under the quilting frame and watch the needle and thread go up and down, thimbled fingers guiding it from underneath.  Oh, and the lunches...good ol' country cooking at it's finest.

I have fond memories of my grandparents.  They were a part of our lives growing up, even if that meant we would drive ten hours to see them or they would do the same.  With the passing of each of them, a hole was left that could never be filled.  

Sunday, February 5, 2012

NaBloPoMo #5 ~ Super Bowl Party

NaBloPoMo February 2012

Weekend = free writing.

We, as a lot of others, were at a Super Bowl Party today.

It's with the same group of friends we 'always' hang out with, friends from the school Bean attends.

They know us, they know her, they 'know' D.

We are comfortable enough with these friends to let Bean (and Bug, for that matter) run amok with all the other kiddos, just finding them from time to time to make sure they haven't burned the house down. ;)

We also know that none of them will OK food for Bean without checking with us and will tattle on Bean if she's found eating something and they aren't sure she was given the OK, tested and dosed for it.
 She was ratted out this summer for swiping frosting off of a donut and tonight she was 'caught' eating some chocolate that all of the kids were sharing upstairs.  Nothing huge, but little lessons for her to realize that everything that goes in her mouth can have potential consequences and little lessons for our friends to make sure she's safe, which I totally appreciate.

They get D enough for us to be able to let our guard down a bit and enjoy ourselves more than if we were on 'high alert' for the entire event.

Here's what today looked like:

Not too shabby, if I do say so myself...and yes, I realize I'm most likely jinxing myself BIG TIME and Bean might have hell to pay with her BG, but dang if I'm not going to brag a bit on some nice looking hills!

Oh, and in case you are, her range isn't really from 80 to 280, we just set Wilma at 280 so she's not alerting so much during school.  Bean's real target BG is 80-180, but we're generally OK with low 200s as long as she's not hanging out there for too long.

So, all in all, she stayed in range and that's a huge WIN for us...last minute touchdown or not! ;)

Saturday, February 4, 2012

NaBloPoMo #4 ~ A Plethora of Pods

NaBloPoMo February 2012

Weekends designated 'free writing.'

We've had more than our fair share of pod changes this week.  Well, Bean has.  She's the one that has had more than her fair share of UniSolve, Skin Prep, alcohol swabs, and cannula insertions.

Monday, during dinner:  beeeeeeeeeeeeeep!  Slight groan, followed by a little giggle and a "that would be me" from Bean.

We finish dinner since she had already been dosed for it and then get all the necessary stuff together and slap a new pod on her leg.

But, when this one goes 'pop' her leg bleeds.  Not something we've ever seen before.  There's blood in the cannula and when I put a little pressure on the top part of the pod, blood oozes a little into the viewing window.  Not OK.

So, off comes that pod and on goes a new one.  There's some resistance and some extra drama for effect, but   this pod goes in just fine and the evening progresses as usual.

Tuesday, dinner time, and it's time to test and dose.  The PDM does it's little alert beeeeep to let us know that there is no active pod.  Um, is there something you forgot to tell us, Bean?  Her pod had alarmed at Drama Club after school, she deactivated it, and then just forgot to tell us.  Great.

Out comes all the necessary stuff, again, to do a quick pod change so she can eat dinner and get to a dance performance. 

We arrive at the performance, right on time amazingly enough, and as we are walking to the building, I hear that familiar 'beeeeeeeeep.'  I stop, look at Bean and ask her it that's her beeping.  She stops, listens, and says she doesn't think it's her, but after a few seconds more, she moans and says, 'yep, that's me.'

So, in we go, deactivate the pod and find a place to do an impromptu pod change.

Thankfully that pod lasted it's full 72+ hours, and we changed her pod last night before bed.

This time I convinced told her that she was going to have it one her hip/bum because her tummy and legs needed a break.  (We reserve arms for Wilma, her CGM.)  With a little help from Hallie's picture of Princess, Bean was a bit more OK with it.  She was, however, concerned with the fact that the pod might not stay on if it got pee on it.  (Because of her bladder condition, she wears a pull up at night and when her BG is high, it tends to get pretty soaked.)  I told her that it would be fine because it would be kinda like taking a bath. Famous last words.

This morning, Bean comes into my room saying that her pod really hurts and that she thinks it's coming off.  And, sure enough, the adhesive is all wet and it coming loose right around the cannula viewing window.  Great, another pod change!

I totally blame this on the fact that Ubergeek made the comment Monday night that it had been a pretty long time since we had had a pod alarm.  You just don't say things like that! :)

Friday, February 3, 2012

NaBloPoMo #3 ~ My Sister

NaBloPoMo February 2012

Today's prompt is:  'Do you have any siblings? What are they like?'

I have an older sister, Lisa.

I spent most of my childhood being compared and/or comparing myself to her. 

I stopped taking piano lessons because I felt I'd never be as good as her.  I didn't make drum major my senior year like she did and I took it harder because of that fact than just not being voted into the position.  My nickname was "little Lisa" for a really long time.

We got along about like most sisters get along.  We fought about silly things.  Did things that got on each other's nerves.

I remember standing outside her bedroom door trying to muster up the courage to ask to borrow a sweater or shirt to wear to school and most of the time was told 'no' but I would ask pretty much every day anyway.

Then she graduated from high school and we didn't see each other all day everyday.  She worked full time and I was still in high school.  I missed her.  As much as I was glad not to be around her all the time, I missed her. ;)

Then a couple of years later, she got married.  Granted, they didn't live very far from us, but I missed her even more.

When she had her first son, I pretty much quit my summer job three weeks early so I could be there with her if she needed me.  When she had her second son, I left campus right as the doors were being lock for the night so I could help take care of son #1 while she was in the hospital.

We are the same in lots of ways.  We've been mistaken for twins even though I'm two inches taller and we won't even speculate on how many pounds heavier.

We are different in lots of ways.  She took a few classes at a community college and I have my BS in education.  She lives down the street from my mother and I live four thousand miles away.  She is way more like my mother and I'm way more like my daddy.  She has two boys and I have two girls.

Now that I'm four thousand miles away, I miss her even more.  Life is busy and we don't talk as much as we should, but I know she's always there at the other end of the phone if ever I need her.

Two summers ago, she surprised me by coming up to visit.  It was the best surprise, ever.

This is a picture from that visit.  Bean was barely a month into her diagnosis...I shuddered a bit when I looked at it.  It's amazing the difference insulin can make!