Monday, June 27, 2011

Not Even 24 Hours Yet

Smiling for the camera, waiting for the bus to pull out.

And so the week has begun!  Yesterday was 'drop off day' for Diabetes Camp for Bean.  (Yes, I did ask the nursing staff when they would be handing out the Valium for the parents!!)

Bean did very well during the 2.5 hour check in process.  There was a lot of waiting involved which gave her time to eat her lunch and run around with a new friend who's brother was going to camp.  We were able to chat with several parents...nice to be in a room full of same knowing that you could just talk about D without all the extra explaining that makes me feel like I'm a rambling idiot!  We even saw one of Bean's preschool teachers, who's daughter was headed to camp for the third or fourth year.  And we were able to 'scope out' the other campers and felt really good about not seeing any potential issues brewing.  (With one exception of a  rambunctious little guy who was playing tag in the parking lot and ending up with a bloody nose and road rash on his face before the bus even arrived!!)

Bean was sporting her awesome tummietote and headband from Tallygear and I lost count of the compliments she got and the questions I got about where they came from!  (Yes, I emailed Donna to get business cards to hand out at pick up on Friday!)  We also got countless hugs from Bean...she was super excited but I could also tell the nervousness was growing!

She woke up with a lovely 57...excited much? new pod working a bit too well?  You know I loved writing that number on the log!!! ;)  But she was at 186 for lunch...much better place to be when getting on a bus for a 2 hour ride!

She was on the verge of tears with our last hug and my little prayer and pep talk (so was I!) but we held it together and she put on a brave face.  She was all smiles as she waved and blew kisses and gave us thumbs up while waiting for the bus to pull out.

The afternoon was interesting....Bug was hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa to make the drop off process a bit easier, so Ubergeek and I headed to a late lunch.  He was not quite as clam as I was but finally let some of the stress go and was able to enjoy lunch.
We picked up Bug and headed home.  She knows Bean is 'at camp' and has already asked this morning when we are going to pick up Bean....I think it will be a long week for her, too!

After Bug was in bed, Ubergeek asked me for the millionth time "what do you think she's doing right now?"
We speculated for a bit and then he said "we have troops in Iraq that can webcam why the hell can't I webcam with my daughter who is only 2 hours away?!?!?"  To which I laughed and said I am totally blogging that tomorrow!!

It's totally frustrating to not be able to talk to her, to know what's on her schedule, to not know how her BGs are doing.  Yes, I know there's a large trained staff and that theoretically everything will be fine.  But they don't do the job of her pancreas 24/7!  Oh, and they only do a 'midnight' check and then a breakfast check.  Seriously?!?!  What about all those hours in between?!?!?  That's where those guardian angels will have to be working overtime this week!!

I was awake a lot last night.  Between my body being programmed to wake up for BG checks and Bug having a cold and me having a cold, there wasn't a lot of consistent Z's going on.

I felt like I was missing a part of me when I was going up to bed and wasn't carrying Bean's PDM kit.

It felt totally wrong to not be doing a BG check when I went in to settle Bug after she was coughing.

It felt really weird to not hear that familiar 'beep.....beep, beep' at breakfast this morning.

I find myself praying a lot...a lot!  I have a totally new understanding of the verse about praying without ceasing.  Anytime I think of Bean I whisper a prayer about keeping her safe and helping her be confident and giving her peace and helping her enjoy every moment and helping us get through this week!

And it hasn't even been 24 hours yet!!


  1. If **I** survived you will too!! :) Day 3 was the hardest for me! Good luck, the stories in the end that she tells are all worth it!

  2. Oh, you are such a brave Mom! I will be praying for your sweet girl this week too. Sounds like you are used to your "new normal" missing those beeping sounds and bg checks and all that goes with it. Enjoy your week! Can't wait to hear how she enjoyed it. Nicole Duckworth

  3. Breathe, mom. Breathe.

    I bet she's having a blast. And the care providers to campers ratio is always very high at D-camps.

    Can't wait for an update at week's end!

  4. I'm sure she's doing great...I think it's harder on us than it is on them! Can't wait to hear the update once she gets home!

  5. It's going to be ok! She is going to have an AMAZING time and she has plenty of people to watch our for her. I remember feeling sad too when I was a camper, but this is really going to help her grow!

  6. Super cute pic of her on the bus!! I hope she has a GREAT time at camp. I wish I'd been able to meet people like me at a camp, but I was diagnosed at 18 so it was years before I met any other T1's. I'm so excited for her!!! :)

  7. Oh exciting and terrifying all at the same time! I never thought I'd want Adam to go to diabetes camp, but now I see it as an essential part of life of a d-kid. Good for you for letting her go...I hope I have the same courage when Adam is old enough! I'm sure she's having a BLAST!

  8. I was thinking of you yesterday, knowing it was the day. I cannot even imagine. I hope you got some sleep last night. Knowing you(an us D' Rents) you woke up at the usual alarm time...and then couldn't go back to sleep b/c you were thinking about Bean. xo

  9. Ahh Denise!! Reading this post was making me feel all the worry and nervousness with ya! I will be thinking of you and Bean this week and sending all my prayers and good comforting thoughts your way. She will be fine and I know she will have a BLAST! Hang in there are AMAZING!!


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