Thursday, June 30, 2011

Same Same ~ IRL!!

The most obvious 'same same' between Ellie and Bean.

I cannot believe that it's been two weeks since our wonderful meet up with Amy and the fam from Three Thirty Three!

It was totally surreal meeting them for the first time yet feeling like we had a life long connection already.  There's something about D that builds an instant bond...not to mention reading each other's blogs for a few months!

After a four hour road trip up to the Grande Denali Lodge on an absolutely beautiful day, we got settled in our room and made contact via text with Amy and made plans to meet them for dinner.

It was a lovely dinner...full of BG checks, a pre-meal bolus for Bean and post meal for Elllie (same doesn't always mean same), Bug torturing Ben by hitting him in the head with the pen the older girls had to go to the front desk to ask for (who gives a children's menu with activities on it with no pen or crayons?!?), and snarky fun filled conversations!

It's awesome to immediately click with someone and to know within minutes that you are all on not only the same wave length because of D but because your personalities just in point when Amy thought Bug was choking and a quick look from me confirmed that it was just her 'filling her pants' and we all went right along with our dinner conversation like nothing was out of the ordinary!!  Gotta love it!

After dinner we headed out to the balcony area to enjoy some of the wonderful Alaskan summer sunshine and amazing views.

Ellie, Bug, Ben, and Bean
love how Bean is on her tip toes and is still a smidge shorter than Ben!! :)
Bug had decided to scoot along the hearth of the fireplace 
in the lobby before dinner and had a 
lovely sooty booty...thanks, Amy, for the cover up!! ;)

The lovely D-moms and their amazing T1 Kiddos!
I soooo should have sat in a chair for this picture!! ;)

We headed back to our room and we all sat around and talked for what seemed like a few minutes but was closer to a couple of hours.  We talked about D and how we 'do it' while the girls did crafts (thank God for the thought to bring along the craft packs that had been sitting around for months in the playroom waiting for just the right moment!)  We talked about our lives and about Alaska and Iowa.  We just talked, like old friends.  It was awesome!

The girls hit it off, too.  They chatted over dinner and doing crafts.  Ellie helped Bean out with some of the trickier parts of the menu activities and crafts, being a couple of years more experienced! ;)  Bean was so excited to meet her and hang out with her.  It's not often she gets to be around other T1s, so this was an extra special treat...not just to meet a new friend, but another member of the club,' as she puts it.  Bean was totally disappointed that Ellie was already gone by the time we got around to having breakfast the next morning...they had to be on the bus at 7:00!!  In hindsight, I should have dragged our sleepy butts out of the bed for one last meet up over breakfast, but alas, it didn't happen.

It was a wonderful four or five hours that I so wish could have been four or five days.  I so wanted to stow away on the cruise with them!!  It was a connection that will surpass time and distance and I am so blessed to have been a part of their family's adventure in Alaska!

Here are a couple of other random shots from our trip

I love how sharps containers rank right up there with shower mats! 
When did that happen?!?

This is what you get when your almost 3yr old dumps salt on her plate and then licks it!
Can you tell I was engrossed in conversation with Amy and Dave 
and was paying absolutely NO attention to my children?!?!

Oh and it wouldn't be a trip with D if you didn't have a little blood spot on the pillow from a night check!
Ugh! Glad it's a white pillow case so they can use bleach!!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

"Having a Grand Old Time!"

Just got word from a different inside source (one of the organizers who is back in town) that Bean is having a grand old time!!!

She told us that Bean has stolen the hearts of everyone because she's the cutest and smallest one there and is just so awesome.

She also told us that Bean has been very helpful during meal times, delivering the huge bowls to the tables.  That's my girl!  I just hope she was adventurous enough to EAT some of what was in the bowls!! ;)

So, we can breathe a collective sigh of relief and make it through the next 48 hours before she gets home!!!

Insert cheesy, happy, ear to ear grin here!!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The one where I pretend I'm not thinking about Bean at camp...

I thought I'd share some random pictures today. 

Nothing else on my mind to blog about! ;)

This was me at my 'birthday party' in March at Ubergeek's 
parents' house.  Bean had been there for most of the 
day 'preparing' and I needed to enter her data 
in my app on my phone, where I keep my log.

Even at a birthday party, D-moms are on the clock!

Just a cool number we felt needed to have a picture taken of it.  

Thumbs up, indeed!!

hand credit to my mother! ;)
This is a plate that belonged to my great-grandmother.  
It's the coolest plate I think I've ever seen.
I came across them while I was in Georgia for my nephew's 
graduation when we needed to find plates for the dessert party 
my sister was hosting.  My mother said they were used all the time 
for 'ladies lunches' that my great-grandmother would host.  
I thought they were super cool because not only do they have 
a cup that goes with them, with a little rim to keep the cup in place, 
BUT there's a cool section for your THUMB so 
you can carry it around, filling it up yummy eats without having to 
worry about the food getting on your thumb 
or your thumb getting in your food!  


Here's another 'find' I came across at my mother's house.  
This is a caricature of me when I was 11. 
 I can remember it hanging on my closet door in
 my bedroom for years and years!

All I can say is thank God for contacts and then lasik surgery!!

Oh, and because there's no way I can actually get through this post without mentioning it.....

Our DEXCOM arrived today!!!  WOO to the frickin HOO!!!
Kinda glad Ubergeek will have some time to play around with it while Bean is at camp!

Oh, and we found out that we can get some 'insider' information on how Bean is doing because of a connection through Grandma.  Haven't heard anything since she told us about the connection this morning, but we'll see what comes of it!  We know she's being taken very good care of medically...we just want to know that she's having a good time...and eating and sleeping!! ;)

Monday, June 27, 2011

Not Even 24 Hours Yet

Smiling for the camera, waiting for the bus to pull out.

And so the week has begun!  Yesterday was 'drop off day' for Diabetes Camp for Bean.  (Yes, I did ask the nursing staff when they would be handing out the Valium for the parents!!)

Bean did very well during the 2.5 hour check in process.  There was a lot of waiting involved which gave her time to eat her lunch and run around with a new friend who's brother was going to camp.  We were able to chat with several parents...nice to be in a room full of same knowing that you could just talk about D without all the extra explaining that makes me feel like I'm a rambling idiot!  We even saw one of Bean's preschool teachers, who's daughter was headed to camp for the third or fourth year.  And we were able to 'scope out' the other campers and felt really good about not seeing any potential issues brewing.  (With one exception of a  rambunctious little guy who was playing tag in the parking lot and ending up with a bloody nose and road rash on his face before the bus even arrived!!)

Bean was sporting her awesome tummietote and headband from Tallygear and I lost count of the compliments she got and the questions I got about where they came from!  (Yes, I emailed Donna to get business cards to hand out at pick up on Friday!)  We also got countless hugs from Bean...she was super excited but I could also tell the nervousness was growing!

She woke up with a lovely 57...excited much? new pod working a bit too well?  You know I loved writing that number on the log!!! ;)  But she was at 186 for lunch...much better place to be when getting on a bus for a 2 hour ride!

She was on the verge of tears with our last hug and my little prayer and pep talk (so was I!) but we held it together and she put on a brave face.  She was all smiles as she waved and blew kisses and gave us thumbs up while waiting for the bus to pull out.

The afternoon was interesting....Bug was hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa to make the drop off process a bit easier, so Ubergeek and I headed to a late lunch.  He was not quite as clam as I was but finally let some of the stress go and was able to enjoy lunch.
We picked up Bug and headed home.  She knows Bean is 'at camp' and has already asked this morning when we are going to pick up Bean....I think it will be a long week for her, too!

After Bug was in bed, Ubergeek asked me for the millionth time "what do you think she's doing right now?"
We speculated for a bit and then he said "we have troops in Iraq that can webcam why the hell can't I webcam with my daughter who is only 2 hours away?!?!?"  To which I laughed and said I am totally blogging that tomorrow!!

It's totally frustrating to not be able to talk to her, to know what's on her schedule, to not know how her BGs are doing.  Yes, I know there's a large trained staff and that theoretically everything will be fine.  But they don't do the job of her pancreas 24/7!  Oh, and they only do a 'midnight' check and then a breakfast check.  Seriously?!?!  What about all those hours in between?!?!?  That's where those guardian angels will have to be working overtime this week!!

I was awake a lot last night.  Between my body being programmed to wake up for BG checks and Bug having a cold and me having a cold, there wasn't a lot of consistent Z's going on.

I felt like I was missing a part of me when I was going up to bed and wasn't carrying Bean's PDM kit.

It felt totally wrong to not be doing a BG check when I went in to settle Bug after she was coughing.

It felt really weird to not hear that familiar 'beep.....beep, beep' at breakfast this morning.

I find myself praying a lot...a lot!  I have a totally new understanding of the verse about praying without ceasing.  Anytime I think of Bean I whisper a prayer about keeping her safe and helping her be confident and giving her peace and helping her enjoy every moment and helping us get through this week!

And it hasn't even been 24 hours yet!!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Our 5k was 2day!

     quick pre-walk BG test


our turn around place was Tastee Freeze...awesome!

Bean tested out her Tallegear Tummietote.

We had such a great time participating in the Virtual 5k.
Wish we had better weather, but at least it didn't rain on us!
Plus, Alaskans can eat ice cream 365, baby!!

Huge thanks to other members of our 'team' who are walking in South Dakota and Georgia.

OH, BTW, Bean leaves tomorrow for CAMP!!!
It's been a whirlwind of a day getting everything labeled and packed.  I'm ready to hit the sack in the hopes of sleeping and not having stress dreams!  Stay tuned for the melt down that I'm sure will come at some point this week!!!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Pátek je dobrá

Roselady over at Diapeepees started Good Fridays...
a day to reflect on the 'good' of the week, no D allowed!  
Pátek je dobrá....Friday is good!
(Czech this week!)

1.  Stalked at the Park   Yeah, I know, it doesn't really sound 'good' but it all turned out that way.
  We were at a park last Saturday to film footage for our You Can Do This project submission (Why can I not include something D in this every week?!?!) when we were approached by a nice looking/dressed lady with a satchel full of multicolored papers.  No 'pedophile wanting to steal my kiddos' alarms went off in my head and I figured she was one of those 'sign my petition for this or that' types or something.  She was casting kids for a local film shoot for a 'big' movie and wanted to know if we were interested.  We took her information and went on with our own filming.
  After Ubergeek did some research when we got home to see if she was legit, I called her and set up a time for us to take Bug in the next day. (They were looking for 2-3 year olds.)  We all went because it was only going to take about 15 minutes and she also took pictures of and talked to Bean.  While we were there, she told us about a 'secret' Q&A session with the director after a showing of Soul Surfer that evening.  Because of the timing of the show, Ubergeek and Bean went on their own....a fun daddy/daughter date...and I stayed home to put Bug to bed and enjoy some quite time.
  Well, they not only LOVED the movie and meet the director, they also met Jon Voight!  He and Bean chatted for a bit while Ubergeek stood there and DIDN'T take any pictures!!  UGH!  His excuse was that he didn't want to be 'that guy', like it's not normal to take photos with celebrities?!?!  Anyway, Bean thought it was totally cool to meet Mr. Sir and I guess that's all that counts!
  Oh, and no, we haven't gotten a 'call back' yet....we'll see!

2.  Surprise, it's a Wedding!  We were invited to a 'house warming halibut feed' at our friends' house last Saturday. (wow, lots going on last Saturday, huh?)  These are friends we met through Bean's school and have been hanging out with them for the past two years at various school and non-school functions.  They have become some of our closest friends.  They got engaged earlier in the year and there were lots of people who figured they would just be one of those couples who lived in a perpetual engaged state.  But, NO!  After the 'BBQ' was going on for an hour and half or so, J comes out in a shirt and tie (something I've never seen him in!) and another one of our friends asks who all wants to see them get married?!?  In walks T, in a gorgeous bridal gown, and they do the whole ceremony right there in the backyard!  It was the sweetest!

3.  Dinner at in-laws.  So, we were supposed to have dinner with Ubergeek's parents on Sunday to celebrate Father's Day.  Well, the whole 'secret Q&A' thing came up so we rescheduled for Tuesday, then remembered Spielabend, and re-rescheduled for Wednesday.  Well, Ubergeek ended up needing to go help someone with their computer after work and I had texted him a list for the grocery store, including items for our dinner.  The phone rings at 5:30 and it's my fil....'um, are you guys on your way soon, dinner is ready.'  I bust out laughing realizing that BOTH of us had forgotten...and we had stopped by their house the night before and had talked about dinner!  While I was laughing, my cell phone rings and it's Ubergeek wanting to know what kind of veggie burgers I wanted him to get.  I told him about the fact that we were supposed to be at his parents' house already and he said, 'Oh, yeah, that's right! I can't believe we forgot! Guess I'll speed things up a bit!'
  Needless to say, we go there about 30 minutes later and had a super yummy dinner (and brought home leftovers...even better the next day!) and had a nice time hanging out.  What's even funnier is that all through dinner and dessert we were all doing and saying things that if we had been being observed would have qualified us for some 'memory enhancing' medication for sure!!  I think the best 'oops' was when my mil poured her creamer into the bowl she set out for the empty containers instead of into her coffee!!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

SWAGing Spilled Milk

I'm not one to cry over spilled milk...I'll cry about pretty much anything else on some days, but whatever!

I'm not one to be all that upset about spilled milk....UNLESS that milk was supposed to consumed by Bean and I have no real idea how much was in the cup before it ended up on the carpet, no less....and her enlightened insight on the contents of the cup was 'um, a lot.'  So helpful!! ;)

Plus it doesn't help that we're trying out a new carb:insulin ratio for lunch because she's been hitting the high 200s to low 300s for afternoon snack for a little over a week.

Add to that the LOG I'm having to keep this week to present to the camp folks on Sunday.  Don't even get me started on THAT!  I don't know why it's giving me panic attacks....I mean, I keep track of all of Bean's BGs and boluses and our NP and CDE see them on a regular basis, but something about writing them down on a piece of paper that's glaring at me from the table and that will be handed over to strangers (who I feel will be judging my pancreatic skills from one week's worth of data!) is stressing me out!!!!

OK, back to the milk....I did my best to soak up the spilled milk with napkins (out of paper towels, seriously?!?!) and then filled the cup up almost as much as it was originally because Bean has a tendency to eat everything before she drinks anything.  Now we just wait about an hour longer to see how that new ratio with the modified milk amount is doing!  Lovely!

At least there are two more lunches to test out the ratio!

What was I thinking adjusting it anyway?

Oh, yeah, it was those god-awful high numbers mocking me from that dang log!!!

**edited to add**
  Bean just knocked over her bowl of shells and cheese she is eating for dinner....thankfully all but about 10 shells landed on her chair, so I just scooped them back into the bowl!!   ARGH!!  Is it bedtime yet?!?! ;)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

You Can Do This, Sweet Bean Style

Kim over at Texting My Pancreas came up with this amazing project.  If you haven't had a chance to check out some of the videos or make your own, I would highly recommend it!!

Here is My Sweet Bean and Her Pod's contribution to the project.  I will apologize now for the 'it' instead of 'this' in a lot of the "you can do this" parts...but I think it gets the point across none-the-less! ;)

We had a great time filming this with "Cousin Sarah" and are so honored that she took the time to put it together for us.  
She is truly gifted in the video arts!! 

Monday, June 20, 2011

Featuring Me and Bean on D-Mom Blog!

Leighann over at D-Mom Blog has honored me today by featuring My Sweet Bean and Her Pod!  

Click the button and go check it out! :)

D-Mom Blog Featured D-Mom

Sunday, June 19, 2011

A Girl and Her Daddy

There is a special bond between a girl and her Daddy.

It defies reason.
     Like when he got out of the car at a stop sign to chase my hat that flew out the window.

It defies understanding.
     Like during those times that we would be so frustrated with each other because we were so much alike.

It defies logic.
     Like when I called him from college (7+ hours away) when my car broke down.

It defies the laws of space and time.
     Because even though he's been gone for almost two and half years, I can still hear him and feel him.

I see a similar bond developing with Ubergeek and our girls.

Yes, he drives them as crazy as they drive him, but at the end of the day they are all cuddled together on the couch watching some random kid movie for the millionth time.

I am truly blessed to have found a guy who would rather stay home with his family than go out with the boys (though he does that at times because it's good for him to have those friends);
who is always looking out for our safety and well being (though at times I can't see things from his perspective and get so frustrated with his decisions);
who spends countless hours working, either at his job or with his clients to provide for us (though he would rather be spending more time at home and when he's really 'in demand' I wish he was at home more).

He may not be the full-time pancreas, but he sure knows more than enough to step in and let me 'escape' for six days.  (Yes, I am still asking him about his post about that week....).  He knows that D is a team sport and wants to be a very involved member of that team; from going to all of Bean's appointments to checking with me during night checks to make sure we are both on the same page.

I had an amazing role model and hero in my dad.  I am so glad that my girls have one in theirs!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Sexta-feira é bom!

Roselady over at Diapeepees started Good Fridays...
a day to reflect on the 'good' of the week, no D allowed!  
Sexta-feira é bom!...Friday is good!
(Portuguese this week!)

1.  Spielabend.  This summer, Bean's school is hosting "Play Evenings" once a week.  It gives the kids a chance to stay tuned into their German and hang out with friends.  They are doing a mid-evil theme with princesses and knights and dragon fighting/slaying.  This past week, they made crowns and then learned how to sword fight...yes, all in German!  Such Fun!  And it gave me a chance to connect with some parents I might not have otherwise seen, and that was fun, too!
     No, we don't have a German family connection, in case you were wondering. Just knew that Bean needed something 'extra' in regards to school and we fell in love with this school during our tour. We also feel that learning another language is such a benefit, so it all just made sense!

2.  Flowers.  Bean and I scattered wildflower seeds along the fence in the backyard a few years ago.  Due to the over zealous weedwackers of the guys who do the lawn for our HOA, they never quite 'made it' to the flower stage.  However, this summer they haven't been great about lawn care so far and as a result, we are getting to enjoy some random flowers!  This one is the Forget-Me-Not, which happens to be the Alaska state flower!
Don't look too closely or you'll see dandelion do not care about weeds in the back yard.  They are green and when they are cut with the grass you can't really tell they are there anyway!! ;)

3.  IRL Meet Up!  OK, so kinda d-related since I wouldn't otherwise know this person, but WHO CARES!!  Our family got to meet up with Amy (from three thirty three) and her family last night.  It was aweschumely ah-mazing!  I will have to devote an entire post to it...but need to wait for pictures since Amy had her camera with her at dinner!  Needless to say it was an awesome 5 hours that was worth the 4+ hour drive for sure!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Say What?!?

I don't mind talking about Bean's Diabetes, really I don't.

When people ask me questions and I can help them understand a little bit better what she deals with day in and day out, it's a good thing.

Sure, there are times I feel like a rambling idiot savant spouting out BG numbers and ratios and correction factors and carb counts and, and, and....

But when the 'stupid' comments start, I really want to tell them to shut the hell up!

For example....while in Georgia, I was asked by lots of people about Bean.
One conversation included the other person telling me about their sibling who had a T1 child (adult now)  who had stopped taking care of himself and was now blind and had a leg amputated.  Say What?!?
Other conversations included comments like "are her numbers in control now that she's using a pump?" and "since she got it so young, she'll be able to grow out of it, right?" and "my daughter has such and such, so I totally understand what you are going through" and "it would be so hard for her to be at this party and not eat any of the yummy desserts."
Thankfully I only have to see these people from time to time...and some rarely or never at all (seat mates on the plane)...which makes it a bit better, but still, why do people say crap like that?

The conversations that really get under my skin are the ones with people I have to see on a regular basis.  Ones that have been in our lives for the past year that we have been 'doing' D.
Ones that have heard me explain things several times.
Ones that, by this point, should have at least enough of an understanding that they don't keep making the same stupid comments!

We were at a party this past Sunday.  It was fun.  We hung out with friends; the girls played with friends.  I wasn't expecting to be there for as long as we were, but that was OK.  We had just eaten lunch so we were 'good' there and with all the food there, I was able to keep the girls satisfied.
Ubergeek checked on Bean and had her test....460, lovely!  Why can our carb count for Subway be spot on some days and so totally off on others?!?! 
He comes out to fill me in and I have to hear comments like "oh, she's still having trouble with her blood sugar going high?"
About an hour later he checks on her again and she's at 236...nicely coming down, but on fast side. (Can't ever tell with her if she's going to run around like a banshee or spend hours 'dressing up' in her friend's clothes!).
Forty minutes later, she comes outside with her PDM in hand and shows Ubergeek the number...he happened to be sitting closer to the door she came out of.  62, to which he says 'juice box' to which she replies, 'um, already did.'  Love it!  Didn't love the 0.85u still on board, so she ate several snacks from her kit...none of the 'party food' interested her...other than the cake and I didn't want to 'go there' with her at that point.

The rest of the evening was 'fine' BG wise, but the comments continued.
"Shouldn't her pump help her from going low like that?"
"My kid is eating so much today, at least we don't have to worry about her going high!"  This from a friend who's daughter has been having some hypo episodes, but honestly seems to not understand what's going on or  how to manage it.

I honestly don't know if I want to sit them all down for a couple of hours and go over all the D stuff so they might understand it better (thus minimizing the comments) or if I'd rather them just not talk to me about D at all!

Maybe what I really want is a mute button for those times when people say stupid stuff.  I don't want to hear it; it's not helpful information; it makes me cringe while the words are coming out of their mouths and for days (obviously!) after when I replay them in my head.

Or maybe I need to stop caring about the potential of hurting their feelings and just tell them how wrong they are or how it's not helpful at all to hear about so and so who went blind and lay it out for them in plain English and move on.
There's enough wrong and hurtful information out there and it's not really their fault they don't know better, but if I can set them straight, maybe I should!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Squeal Like A Girl

photo credit
Such a cute little fella, isn't it?  I totally agree...if it's on a rock, outside, where it's SUPPOSED to be.
NOT when it runs past you when you are walking through the laundry room into the bathroom when you flip the light on!

I screamed, I squealed, I jumped up and down about to hyperventilate! It freaked me out!!

Of course, Ubergeek and Bean (who were safely in the living room) thought it was hilarious!  Ubergeek joked that if I could have, I probably would have jumped onto the dryer to get away from it!

We've had shrew visitors in the past, usually in the garage where they munch on the birdseed or whatever else they feel like chewing up.  Don't really like them in the garage, but it's better than in the house!  Well, they must have gotten ballsy, because we've caught two and are pretty sure there's another one.

So last night, Ubeegeek decides we need french fries around 10.  (Yeah, not the best choice, but hey, sometimes you just need McD's fries!)  So he goes to put on his shoes and lets out this squeal that puts mine from the night before to shame!!  He then proceeds to shake out his shoe to find a toy!  Feeling better, he puts on that shoe and goes to put on the other one and.....yep, SQUEAL, again!!  Accompanied by a few other choice phrases....and, really, who could blame him!  He shakes out that shoe and finds.....yep, you guessed it, another TOY!  What is even more hilarious is that it was the same kind of toy, a matching set for his pair of shoes.  I can only imagine Bug did it, because she's a little OCD like that!

So, he walks around the room cursing the toys, shivering and shaking like he's trying to get out the heeby-jeebies!

Of course, I'm laughing my butt off and can hardly see for the tears streaming down my face!!

Too bad he didn't follow is own advice to 'check your shoes for shrews!'

Here is the offending toy....Minion from Megamind...and yes, it's a McD's toy!

Ah, the irony!!

Couldn't find his 'twin' that was in the other shoe....not sure where it landed when Ubergeek threw it across the room!!!

Friday, June 10, 2011

El viernes es buena!

Roselady over at Diapeepees started Good Fridays...
a day to reflect on the 'good' of the week, no D allowed!  
El viernes es buena...Friday is good!
(Spanish this week!)

I am struggling with this post today.  It's been a rough week trying to get back into normal life.  As much as I needed the break and am thankful for the break, I don't know if it truly served me well.  I am on edge more than I have been in a while and I am struggling with that.  I know there are good things about this week but at the moment all my mind can focus on is the crappy way I've been acting and reacting to things.  I could make excuses (jet lag, that time of the month) but in the end I am responsible for how I behave and I have not be behaving well this week. 

OK, so I think I need to do some reminders for myself more than anything...feel free to read, or just skip to the end for some give away reminders! ;)

1.  A Place To Live.  Do I love our  Do I want to move...yes.  BUT, I am thankful that I have a place to live!  And not just live, to sprawl out 'stuff' that we could totally do without but have anyway.  There are places in the world where families way, way bigger than mine share a tiny room.  There are families that live in their cars or tents, not by choice but because that is all they have.

2.  Food To Eat.  My pantry has never been bare; sparse, maybe; not exactly what I wanted to eat in there, sure.  My fridge and freezer have never had empty shelves; again, maybe not filled to capacity or housing my favorite treat.  BUT, I have never gone without a meal because there wasn't food to eat.  Sure, there are times when I'd love to have sushi or pad thai or salad and breadsticks with cheese from our favorite restaurants and have instead had scrambled eggs and toast or frozen pizza or fish sticks and onion rings because that's what was available.  I don't have to skip a meal or go dig in the dumpster behind a restaurant or wait in line at the soup kitchen.

3.  Medication To Keep Us Healthy and Alive.  Other than Bug, everyone in our family relies on daily medication.  You all know about my meds (might need to check on the dosage!) and Ubergeek has his and of course there's Bean's insulin.  Not only are these medications available, we have the insurance coverage to make them affordable and we can pay our co-pays to get them each month.  Do we have to sacrifice in other areas to afford them, yes.  Would I trade my desire to get out of bed each day or Ubergeek's health or Bean's LIFE for anything that money could buy instead...HELL TO THE NO!

OK, I'm feeling a bit better now.  Time to give myself a time out for my behavior, do my best to 'fix it' and move on with the day!


In case you've missed these...thought I'd share because I don't want you to miss out!!

** Hallie, over at The Princess and The Pump, is hosting a stinkin' cute Sugar Bolus.  Whether you are, or have a 'bow person' in your life, these are too cute to pass up!

** BusyMom, over at Three Sweet Kids and a seven year old named Diabetes, is having a contest!  Even I could be inspired to wash dishes 'old school' with a cute towel like that to assist me! ;)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The 46 Minute Difference

Bean has been having some wonky numbers since her pod change on Monday.  

We tried putting the pod 'upside down' for us...with the window where you can see the cannual pointing down...because I've seen so many pictures of pods going that direction lately, we thought we'd give it a try.

Pretty sure that's why we've been seeing a ton of 200s and some 300s....not really numbers we like to see to say the least!  Yeah, there have been some 100s, but not as many as there typically are and I don't like that.

Last night as Bean was going to bed, she wanted to test.  Nothing really out of the ordinary and something we are OK with to make sure she's in a good place before she drifts off to dreamland.  She's been feeling low sometimes when she's actually high...either way, it's good to know, but it's getting frustrating.  

OK, back to last night...8:30 and she's at 265.  Not terrible since she had had a popcorn snack not quite an hour and a half earlier.  20 minutes later she's insisting that she feels low and needs to test again.  Now, I know numbers can drop fast, but lately she's been using needing to test as a stall tactic at bedtime.  So hard to not let her test, but....  We talk it over for a few minutes and in the end she tests again and she's at 277.  A bit of a learning opportunity that sometimes highs can feel like lows and off to bed she goes.

We get up to bed a bit later than we should have since Ubergeek had to go to work today...yes, he's called several times to whine about it and to check on his girls! ;)

11:27pm and Bean is at 178...not really a number I'm OK with that early into the night.  So, off the basal goes for two hours and I set my alarm to check her.

1:30am and Bean is at 165...nice!  I'm liking that she's pretty much holding steady with no basal, but know that she has a tendency to spike up without it for too long.  So, I set her basal at 50% (0.05u for her for this time of night...still amazes me that I can give her such a tiny amount!) and set the alarm to check her in two hours.

This is where I whine about the fact that I've been home for three nights and I'm back to having to wake up every two hours...not fun!  When does my next vaca start?!?!  Oh, and back off 'anon' about the fact that Ubergeek could have done one of the night checks...boy had to get up and go to work for the first time in 10 days...he needed to sleep!

3:31am and Bean is at 163....lovely!  Knowing that her reduced basal has two more hours, knowing that I have to get Ubergeek up in three hours (he doesn't hear alarm clocks, so I wake him...yeah, I'm nice like that!) I plan to check her when that alarm goes off instead of getting up in two hours and then again an hour later.

Ubergeek's phone buzzes at 6:15 to let him know he's gotten an email...hate that feature!
So, he starts his morning a bit early and I go down the hall to check Bean.

6:17am and Bean is at 304....WHAT?!?  Now, there's no way in hell that she's spiked that high from having a reduced basal....we only see those kinds of spikes when we've missed a low.  How the flippidy-flip-flip did that happen?  Two checks at two hour intervals = nice steady numbers.  One check off of that two hours by 47mins and we're looking at a missed low causing a spike to 304?!?!

Don't get me wrong, I am totally thankful for that spike because it could have been a low that could have sent us to the ER.  I just don't understand how/why it happened...beyond the fact that her liver dumped because she was low.

I know, I know, welcome to the world of T1D where nothing makes sense and numbers come out of nowhere.

Needless to say, when we change her pod in a little bit we'll be going back to the 'cannula up' position we are used to!

And, needless to say, this will be just one example we will be discussing with our NP on Monday when we push for a CGM!!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Back in the Groove

My time in Georgia with my family was amazing.

It was a much needed reprieve from the day in, day out that was running me into the ground.

I felt like I was missing part of me as I drove the the airport, went through security (who knew it was that easy and fast when you don't have a stroller and diaper bag and D-supplies!), and got settled into my seat.  It was the first time in seven years and at least that many trips that I had been without kids on a was weird, in the best sort of way!

My mother and her house provided what I needed.  I went to bed when I wanted, got up when I wanted (and when I woke up in the middle of the night I didn't have to get up to check a BG or a sleep shouter (Bug doesn't talk in her sleep, she shouts!)...only to pee if I needed to or I could just roll over!), and although there were some schedules to be kept, there wasn't ever a rush to do anything.  I ate without interruption...way too quickly because of it, so I need to work on that!  I got ready without interruption....and was able to take my time, which was nice!  I read a book, like a whole book, between the long flights and a quiet afternoon with no other plans.  (How to Bake a Perfect Life by Barbara O'Neal ~ fun read; great story; so need to try to bake bread from scratch!! no, I wasn't asked to say anything about it)

To be totally disconnected from what I have to do on a daily basis was a breath of fresh air.  When I would call and talk to Ubergeek and the girls, I was never given any BG numbers (with one exception when Bean told me about a 57 earlier that day and Ubergeek yelled from across the room that she wasn't supposed tell me that!) or asked about carb counts.  He wanted me to not have to even think about D stuff....yeah, he's awesome like that!  And not just the disconnect from the D stuff, just disconnecting from all the mommy stuff was relaxing in a way that I don't honestly know how to put into words.

I've been home for three days and I am back in the groove of that day in, day out again.  It was quite the shock to my system, honestly, to jump back into things.  Thankfully Ubergeek had taken more days off than I was away so he's been around to help.  It's amazing to me that whenever we are both home the girls still need me to do everything...even when Ubergeek is the most obvious choice!  They have learned in the last few days that Daddy can do things when Mommy is home just like he did when she was gone!  Good lesson!!

I'm hoping to be able to fit in more get aways...not necessarily ones that require a plane ride since that can get really spendy really quickly!  But at least ones where I can disconnect from things that drain the life out of me and reconnect with things that fill me up.  I don't think it would be a hard sell for the girls...from the little bits and pieces I've heard, they had a great time while I was gone! (Yes, I have asked Ubergeek to do a guest post about his experience!)

Yes, all the mommy stuff was here waiting for me when I got back.
Yes, all the D stuff hasn't gone anywhere.
No, I'm not all 'zen' about it now that I'm back because I was gone for six days!  And honestly, I didn't expect that I would be!
BUT, just being away from it for a time was much needed and much appreciated and that's enough.

Monday, June 6, 2011

One Year, One Day

It's been one year and one day since Bean's diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes.

During her four months, two weeks of MDI, she had at least 520 shots.
During her almost eight months of pumping with OmniPod, she's had at least 260 pod changes.
During her one year, one day of testing her blood sugar, she's poked her fingers at least 4,026 times.

She has accepted this path for her life with the most amazing courage and grace I've ever seen...and she's 7.
She carries this disease day in and day out, with no breaks, no time off, no choice in doing it or not.
She wears her pod with honor, never choosing to place it where it can't be seen because of a performance or activity where others might ask her about it.
She doesn't want this, doesn't like this, but she holds her head high and educates people every chance she gets.
She is my hero.

We walk this road with her, but have no real idea what it's truly like.
We measure and weigh food, count carbs for/with her, but can eat how ever much we want, whenever we want.
We give juice boxes for lows, but don't have the slightest idea what her body is going through.
We give water and corrections for highs, but can't understand how out of control she feels.
We pray, hope, and dream for a cure, but know no matter how much we want it, no matter how much money we raise or donate, it might not be a reality for her.
We trust God and His plan for her life, even when it makes no sense to us and we don't understand why D had to be a part of it.

It's been one year, one day.
She has a lifetime to go.

Celebrating, because what else would we do?
She insisted on the candle...and singing! ;)

Saturday, June 4, 2011

CGM Opinions Wanted

I know most of you have them....opinions and CGMs.  :)

We are moving towards a CGM for Bean.  It just makes sense to be able to know what's going on 'in between' those finger pricks and to know if she's steady, heading up or heading down.

The clinic we go to supports one kind and we're partial to another kind.  
This is where you come in, my wonderful D-moms, D-dads and PWD.  HELP!!

Why did you choose the CGM you or your child uses?

Why didn't you choose another one...if you looked into other options?

Did it play a part in your decision that the CGM was 'supported' by your clinic?

I will treat all comments as opinions, not medical advice.  I will consult Bean's NP and CDE before we place an order for a CGM.  I will not like you more or less because of your choice of CGM or your opinion concerning it. :)


Friday, June 3, 2011

Le vendredi est une bonne!

Roselady over at Diapeepees started Good Fridays...
a day to reflect on the 'good' of the week, no D allowed!  
Le vendredi est une bonne...Friday is good!  
(French this week!)

1.  The DOC!!  OK, I know I'm pushing it here with the 'no D allowed' but I had to take the first chance I had to express my deepest thanks and appreciation for all of the support from my friends in my computer about the ridiculous anonymous comment!  I knew that you all would have my back (and Ubergeek's!), but to see all the comments and feel that support was truly amazing.  You all are becoming (if not already are!) some of my best friends and I feel unbelievably blessed to be a part of such an amazing community of D'rents and PWD!  Much, much, much love to all of  you!

2.  Time to refresh.  I am about halfway through my little vaca in Georgia.  And although it is hotter than a witch's titty in a brass bra, I am truly enjoying being here.  Having a break from the D stuff is nice, although I have been talking about it quite a bit because everyone wants to know how Bean is doing and it's given me the chance to educate and correct, which is a good thing.  But, having a break from 'all that is mommy' has been amazing.  No other clothes to iron, no other food to make, no planning outings around nap time, no stressing over behavior, no making sure they are occupied so I can be on the computer or take a shower (notice the order of importance there?!?), no car seats to buckle, no whining about wanting to go do this or that, no waking up to the pitter patter of feet before I want to be awake!!  It's been grand!
  Do I miss them, YES!  Am I ready to go home yet, um....NO!! ;)

3.  Family.  I am so glad I was able to be here for my nephew's graduation.  It's one of those milestones that you just can't miss!  It's been nice hanging out with my mother, sister and her family.  Just being around family is a wonderful thing...especially when you live 4,000 miles away and it doesn't happen all that often!
  Now, brace are about to see pictures of me!  OK, stop jumping up and down in delight already!! ;)

My sister, Lisa; nephew, Paul; and me!

Brother-in-law, Doug; nephew, Chad; nephew, Paul; sister, Lisa; Mother, Beverly; and me!