Tuesday, May 10, 2011

To My Sweet Bean, with love


Day Two of Diabetes Blog Week: Write a Letter
Check out Bitter~Sweet for more information!

There is a long list of potential recipients of my letter for today.

I could write our first NP and tell her that she was totally wrong about Bean having to change schools because of her diagnosis and that waiting a year to even talk about a pump is ridiculous!

I could write our current NP and CDE and tell them how wonderful they are and how much Bean (and Ubergeek and I) look forward to appointments; and not just because the receptionist is a kick in the pants!

I could write Nurse at Bean's school and ask her why she didn't retire last year so we could have possibly avoided some of the problems we've had with and because of her.

I could write OmniPod and the FDA to ask where the heck is the smaller pod and, more importantly, where the heck is the one with the integrated CGM.  Would totally like to have that...um, yesterday!!

I could write to my long lost love, sleep.

But, alas, I am way too tired for all of those letters. :)  So, I am choosing to write to the most important recipient:  my sweet Bean.

My Sweet Bean,
  How do I even begin to put down in words all I want to say to you?  How could I get across to you how proud I am of you?  How is it possible to express my love?
  You, Bean, are the most amazing 7 year old I have ever and will ever know.  You amaze me daily; not just with your ability to carry the weight of D on your petite shoulders, but in the way you take on life full tilt.  You are, and have always been, a very caring soul.  Even as a toddler, you made sure that everyone in the nursery had a toy to play with.  Your generosity with your friends blows my mind sometimes ~ still trying to get over the fact that your ripped off the rhinestones from your dress because your friends wanted one!!  When one of your friends is down, you are the first to check on them and try to 'make it better.'  You are always ready with hugs for me when I'm having a rough day...those hugs are magical.
  You make me smile.  You warm my heart.  You inspire me to do better and be a better mom.

  Your life was forever changed when D showed up.  I know there are times that you wish it would go away.  Oh, how I wish that for you, too.  How I ache for you to not have to carry this.  But you have taken this challenge head on and aren't letting it slow you down one bit.  By the end of the first week, you were doing all of your own BG checks.  You quickly learned how to draw up insulin in a syringe and dial doses on your insulin pen.  You blew away the teachers, staff, and nurse at your school when you basically lead the training so they would know how to care for you.  You rock the OmniPod and it's controls.  Those little fingers of yours fly on those buttons!  Thank you for always telling me your number and amount of bolus before you hit that 'confirm' button!!!  There aren't many seven year olds, less than a year into this journey, that could do what you do!  Shoot, you even know the carb counts on most of your foods now, too!!
  I have always known that you were destined to do great things.  I have been told by countless people to 'watch out because that girl is going places.'  I know that D will never keep you from that greatness.  D might play a part in that greatness, who knows, but it won't keep you from it.  I just hope I can keep up and that I have a front row seat!
  Bean, I love you!  You are the best. 

My apologies if I was rambling....Bean had a rough BG night last night starting at 8:46 when she was 537.  So I was checking every hour through the evening and night instead of visiting with my love, sleep.  Her BG finally settled into range shortly after 4am and was a pleasant 91 for breakfast.
Now, I think I'll try to sneak in a nap! Wish me luck!!


  1. What a loving letter to Bean. She sounds like she is so mature and independent Denise...so new to "D" too. The love and support she feels from you and Ubergeek are shining through.

    Now...GO GET SOME SLEEP! I was sleep deprived too...hence "The Worm". xoxo

  2. My gosh all these letters are really tugging on the heart string...for sure. Wonderful letter and hope you have a much better night tonight.

  3. Sweet, wonderful letter full of love and pride! :)

    I chuckled at thought of her ripping the rhinestones off of her dress. Too cute!

    Hope tonight is a better night!

  4. This letter spoke to me because a)I'm diabetic (diagnosed at age 6), and these letters from parents make me think about how my parents may have felt shortly after my diagnosis, and b)It's interesting to hear about how children Bean's age are dealing with their D and all the other things that come with childhood, because I teach first graders and so experience interactions with non-D 7 year olds all day.

  5. what a sweet and heartfelt letter Denise. It sounds like you have one amazing little girl there and she will definitely make things better in this world. Great job Momma!!

  6. Sorry to hear about the rough night. Your letter is precious. Just like your Bean. She sounds wonderful.

  7. Very sweet letter to Bean! She sounds like a wonderful girl...so kind and caring :)
    Hope she has a better night tonite and you are able to get some sleep!


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